Loving and Hating in Difficult Days

I’ve written posts before about love and hate. They are a couple of evergreen topics that never fail to provide material even if much of it covers very familiar ground.

But after what I’ve read and heard over the past few weeks, it’s a topic worth revisiting.

What really got me thinking about it was this clip on CNN – it is toward the end of an interview with a man whose son was killed in the October shootings in Maine. In this portion of the interview, the man describes why he doesn’t hate the shooter. Watch the clip — this is what Christ’s love looks like. (And with his Maine accent, there are a few times when he says “Lord” that to me sounded like “law.” He’s saying “Lord,” trust me.)

OK, before you keep reading, all the people who didn’t click on the CNN link and watch the video need to do so. Seriously. It’s three minutes of your attention, and you’ll hear some powerful testimony. It’s worth it.

Not even 30 minutes later, I heard something at the opposite end of the spectrum. CNN was interviewing a relative of someone who had been taken hostage by Hamas after the horrific attack in Israel on October 7. I can’t find a clip to share, so I’m relying on my memory, but at one point the person described Hamas (I don’t think he said this about all Palestinians) as “not people” or “less than human.” The exact phrasing escapes me, but he was calling them sub-human.

I can’t imagine what the families of the hostages are going through – the sorrow, the pain, the fear, the anger, the uncertainty. But going on TV and calling an entire group of people sub-human is pretty hateful. My hope is that the hate has passed, that it was a momentary flash of emotion, but I’m also realistic. I know that all around the world there are people who hate groups of other people. It’s kind of a default setting for how they view these people – usually people they have never met.

Maybe we hate a politician and anyone who supports them. Maybe we hate an ethnic group because of a long-running conflict. Maybe we hate another race because of our twisted, harmful beliefs. There is a lot of hate out there. And people are acting on it.

Here are just a couple of articles about the spike in hate here in the United States. One describes the situation for Muslim and Arab Americans, and one describes the situation for Jewish Americans. Take a few minutes and read about what these people are dealing with … all because of hate.

Right now I’m (slowly) reading a book called Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt, by Arthur Brooks. The title is pretty self-explanatory. Contempt is everywhere. We have sorted ourselves into groups in so many ways, and once we are comfortably in the presence of our fellow group members (either physically or virtually), it’s time to tell everyone else how terrible they are. It’s time to be contemptuous, to be hateful.

How to combat this? Let’s be decent people and show everyone some love. But it’s not easy. It’s not easy at all. It’s not easy to separate someone’s extreme beliefs from who they are as a child of God. It’s not easy to condemn someone’s horrific actions and at the same time show them forgiveness and love. This stuff is not for sissies. We have to be willing to do the work, because loving people – all people – is really hard work. Jesus had some thoughts on this, and it doesn’t sound very easy:

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be paid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.

— Luke 6:27-35

There’s a lot in there, some of which clashes with our modern views of law and order or property rights. But I bolded two passages because Jesus says those things twice – love your enemies, and do good to them. The first is about what’s in your heart, and the second is how you act on what’s in your heart.

The beginning of the second paragraph from the Luke excerpt above is instructive as well. Jesus is telling us to get outside of our groups. Being nice to people who are “just like us” is easy. Anyone can do that. But doing good for someone you can’t stand? That’s where the hard work is.

And I don’t have any magic answers for you on how to do this hard work. I struggle with it, too. I think I’m a nice guy, but I still find myself passing up chances to do something nice for someone. We need God to help us change our hearts toward people (i.e., pray for that change), and then we need to take action when we have the chance. And the only way to take action is to put one foot in front of the other and do it. Do it once, and it may be awkward or uncomfortable or leave you feeling not that great … but then do it again. And again. Not everyone will be receptive. But God will honor your heart and your effort even when people tell you to buzz off, for you are showing God’s love to a world that needs it.

As our friend in Maine said in his interview, “You can’t run around this world hating people.” So let’s try loving them instead.